I became a Christian much to my own surprise. It was as if the sun of the gospel had evaporated my atheism in an instant.  

But as time went on, one reality remained like a stubborn puddle: I was sexually attracted to women. I still am.

So many questions pressed for attention. How could something that  felt so right be condemned as wrong? Why would God prohibit acting on  these desires for love? Would Iever have sex again? What words should I  use to describe my experience—since neither gay nor straight seemed to  fit? How should I navigate close female friendship in my new Christian  community without everything getting… complicated?

My new Christian friends didn’t know where to point me. They had  never had to consider these questions from my angle; they were all  attracted to the opposite sex—a fact which presented enough challenges  of its own in the fight for joyful obedience. And all the while, we were  bombarded with the loud, monotone declaration of our culture: “You must  obey your sexual desires.”

I remember one cool morning in Wyoming, sitting  outside with a friend who also happened to be named Rachel. We were discussing one of our guy friends who had come to Christ in college.  Before that, he had lived by following his own intuition of what would  make him happy and fulfilled. He had had a girlfriend with whom he was sexually active, but when he met Jesus, he called it off and broke up with her.

Rachel and I had learned that this ex-girlfriend had recently also come to know Jesus as her Savior, and it seemed that she and our friend would now resume their relationship—this time both as Christians.  Perhaps they would even one day marry! Wouldn’t that be a lovely story  of redemption?

It seemed like it to us. But it also made me quietly realize that  that story would never be mine. If any of my ex-girlfriends came to  Christ, I would rejoice. But none of them would be my future wife.  Redemption could not look like that for me. It just felt so unfair: an  ache in the heart that pulsed dreadfully, not letting me ignore it. I  voiced it to Rachel and received sympathy. Yet neither of us really had  an “answer.” It felt like uncharted territory. It was.

My life has told a different story than what  society expects for me and what I expected for myself, because God  himself has written his own twists and turns into the narrative

Our culture sings that we’re “born this way,” as if that settles the  matter. But I’m born again. My life has told a different story than what  society expects for me and what I expected for myself, because God  himself has written his own twists and turns into the narrative:  unexpected blessings that are more powerful, more lovely, than anything I  could have imagined in my former life.

This book is my story. It’s just one among many, and it’s not  intended to be weaponized against anyone else or used as a pawn. But my  hope is that my account of coming out, coming to faith, and what came  next will be a refreshment to you on your own journey. Though I have  experienced failure and pain, I have also received freedom and joy. In  later chapters, I’ll also share stories of others who are walking this  path with their eyes fixed on the Lord.

Even more than stories, I want to offer you the Scriptures, and show  you how those ancient, God-breathed words can meet us right in our very  contemporary circumstances. They will challenge us and comfort us, and  ultimately root us in the God who loves us.

And whoever we are, that’s what we most need.

I WROTE BORN AGAIN THIS WAY FOR YOU

Perhaps you’re sure of your sexuality, but unsure of what Jesus has  to say about it—or whether he has any right to own it. You are welcome  —I wrote the book for you.

Maybe you find yourself secure in Jesus, fighting to say yes to him  and no to same-sex sexual sin—yet still, like all Christians who have  gone before us, you’re living in a body that is not yet free from  temptation. You don’t want to limp to the finish line but to run your  race with joy. My book is for you.

Or maybe you’re listening in on this conversation as a pastor,  significant other, friend, or parent of a Christian with same-sex  attraction. You long to love like Jesus, who came full of grace and  truth. My book is for you too.

I want to show you that Jesus is beautiful, powerful,  and worthy  right at the heart of this conversation, right at the heart of our  sexuality. He is not scared or unsettled by anything, and if we are  rooted in him, we can be people of power and love and self-control.

This is what I want for myself, and what I want for you. I’m not  writing as a polished product, standing behind the finish line, clapping  for you with the medal already around my neck.

I’m right with you, sometimes stumbling, often aching, but also running with joy.

No matter where we start from, no matter what shape we’re in, he is  not hindered. His love and power are more than sufficient. He is always  more than we expect.

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